Monday, March 31, 2008

Twas the night before this mess

Twas the night before I considered
Throwing him out of the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even that lout
All of his stockings were piled on the floor and the chair
He hoped they’d get washed by someone who cared

The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of this dunce stuck in my head
And me in my nighty and this idiot rat
Had just stopped the screaming and finished our spat

When out popped an idea, a thought don’t you know
That one of us was staying and the other had to go
My patience was exhausted and saying this last
“Get out of here Blister and move pretty fast”

More rapid than lightening his curses they came
And I covered my ears as he sounded deranged
He was yelling so loudly at the top of his lungs
That I stop all my listening and loaded the gun

As dry leaves that before a hurricane do fly
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
away away partner away away all
I can no longer tolerate your gumption and gall

And then with a twinkle I heard the big goof
Try sneaking on back in, by using the roof
I turned with my head and was turning around
When something came crashing right down to the ground

I spoke not a word as he whined of the fall
In fact giggled jolly at the whole thing and all
slowly he was rising, so I declared with a laugh
“You’ll be lucky to get anything resembling a half!”

I’ve called out the lawyers, I know them by name
As this isn’t a stunt or another silly game
Come Breakem, come Fleecehem, come Mashem with Stones
Come spitting and fighting and devour his bones

He sprang to his feet, to his car he did run
As I was still holding the Winchester, my favorite gun
I heard him exclaim, as he drove from my view
“you blankety blank something and …” I interrupted “you too”